So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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