Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
