There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
