i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
