WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
