I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Buhtt sex?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
whose ass print is on the piano?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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