You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills