if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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