You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
