There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
