I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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