that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
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i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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