you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
