can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
