if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
