The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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