So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
