dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
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She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
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He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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