He is an equal opportunity slut.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
