i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
