And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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