Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
