Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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