i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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