ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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