i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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