oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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