5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
