I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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