their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize