I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
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Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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