The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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