she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Randomize