He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
