I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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