Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You took a bar mat shot.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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