U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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