Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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