Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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