Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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