We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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