she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
