guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Damn victory sex feels great
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
