I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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