I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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