Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
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today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
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My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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