OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
