I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
