Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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