I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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