Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
