too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
