yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
