I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
