if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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