I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
