Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
