the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
