I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
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Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
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Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week