Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...