I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.