Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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