Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
