Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
