Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
